You were so hopeful. It has happened several times. There was the relationship that you wanted so bad. You could see the possibilities- but he/she could not. There was the dream job. It could've been so cool if upper management didn't bail on your program. Then there was the business, the band, the trip, or the project. It was right there. The stars were aligned. You could see it so clearly. But... apparently your friends, associates, or customers could not. So there you were again– left holding the bag. Disappointed.
Somewhere along the way after being disappointed enough times, we say to ourselves, “That's it, I'm not going there ever again." After that, we stop initiating new ideas– at least the
You come back from lunch and your coworker is going through your desk. You walk over and ask him what he's doing. “Oh, our committee needed those color dry erase markers that you have for our presentation. Since you are at lunch, I figured you wouldn't mind if I borrowed them." You feel violated. You respond, "Actually I do mind. Please never go through my desk again. If you need to borrow something, just ask me.” He says, "Really? I thought we were beyond that,” and walks away hurt and dejected. You feel bad. You just got shifted.
Shifting the blame is when someone violates or hurts you and then shifts the blame back to you. My question is, “Who
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.