Trust takes time. Yet without it many essential things cannot happen. Trust usually trumps other factors- it affects things at the emotional level. You can't fake trust, and you can't establish it at the intellectual level. While it may be a start, all the trust-building self-talk in the world will break down if it does not extend to the emotional level.
When someone breaks or betrays another
person's trust, it usually affects the relationship for some time. For example, I see this when a couple comes in for counseling after one of them has an affair. The other person may choose to forgive the person that had the affair. Many times couples figure if they deal with it verbally and intellectually by discussing it and saying "I forgive you" the issue will be resolved.But then trust enters the scene. Months or years later the betrayed person becomes hurt, anxious, or insecure about something that triggers their trust issue. Neither can understand why it is happening. They had resolved this. They even went to counseling.
They did not take trust into account. For this reason, prevention is the best way to approach trust. Someone's trust is so precious. Break it and it may never be quite the same. Or at best, it may take a long time to reestablish.
So there is a strong argument to keep your word to a child. To follow through with a friend. To think twice before flirting, cheating, or talking about how hot you think someone else is. Don't be casual or cavalier about such things. It is all fun and games until someone puts their eye out. Respect how it might effect the relationship. Remember how precious having their trust is.
What can you do (or not do) to preserve the trust in relationships that matter to you?
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.