We are trained to look outside of ourselves for answers. But our truth lies inside, along with our instincts, intuition, and spiritual connection. But in order to tap into these things we have to develop our internal resources. Like all skills, these resources are developed by using them. In other words, by going inside for answers. By breaking the habit of looking outside of ourselves for them.
Internal resources are developed by asking yourself how you feel about something. And by asking yourself what you think. By questioning what the outside is telling you and going inside to see if it feels right. After a while we learn to trust our internal resources.
We were parented. We went to school. We were coached. We were trained at work. But what happens when you become the parent, supervisor, or elder in the community? You are that person now. When did that happen? And why are all these people asking you what to do?
There may still a tendency to look to others to guide us. But at some point it becomes our turn- our responsibility. Sooner or later it is our time to make the tough calls. It is the changing of the guard. But this doesn’t always come naturally. It can be pretty comfortable letting someone else make the calls. And we are creatures of habit. Often, it becomes part of our routine to go to the previous leader rather than think it
There is a huge variance on how you affect people. The 'natural gift' you offer them will have a large effect on the some and small effect on others. It often has to do with where they are at the time you interact with them. As well, your ability to affect varies and cycles with what is going on inside of you. There is a tendency is to underestimate the effect you have on others.
Say we get several people in a row that we perceive we have little effect on. We tend to start believing that we have little or no effect on people. So we may become disheartened and pull back our energy. We stop offering our natural gift when people need it most.
We often affect people in ways vastly different then we thought. They may have been gleaning value from us in ways that we did not comprehend. Often what is most important in our effect on others becomes cumulative over time. It becomes what we represent to them.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.