It's a paradox: in order to have things differently, you have to first see things as they are. As long as there is any delusion, denial, or fantasy- it is not possible to create positive change.You do not have to agree with or condone the way things are. You just have to see and accept that right now that is how it is. It is only then that you can change it. People get really stuck on this. They feel like if they admit or acknowledge that things are a certain way that they are supporting it or allowing it to stay that way. On the contrary, you are seeing it clearly- so you it is possible to change it.
When you are changing something inside yourself, it is usually about looking at things about yourself that you do not want to
see and accept. Some Native American traditions call this "coyote medicine." The coyote makes you look at the things that you do not want to look at. It is for this reason that he is the ultimate healer.
By accepting it to be true, you are in a position to release it away from yourself. You look at what it has done to you. That is, how it has affected you, the people around you, and the things that are important to you. Then you promise yourself to never allow that again. You commit to change.
As long as you deny it, it has control over you. It will blind side you until you see and accept it.
The same thing applies in changing the world and things outside of yourself. You have to acknowledge that right now, this is how things are. Then you have a foundation of truth and reality to create social change or intervention. It follows that sometimes we have to accept that things have become unhealthy or destructive.
It is only through seeing things as they are that we can create something new.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.