It is really easy to underestimate the effect you have on those around you. How you affect people is very difficult to discern. The effect of the way you carry yourself and the things you say and do is much larger than you think.
I have noticed this over the past five years when I moved several times. There were friends and acquaintances that I figured were casual. When I left, I realized how important our relationship was to them (and to me). Many of these relationships were on the periphery. I was there for business or some other thing. But unbeknownst to me, important connections were being made. People were getting things from me (and vice-
versa) that I had no idea of.
All things affect. What you say and do has a huge effect on those around you. Life is not nearly as causal as you would think. People are looking to you for really important things. They are watching what you do. You may have the courage to address something that they did not see as possible. You just created hope and possibility for them. That may be the piece they needed to change their life.
So two things become important: 1. The way you walk matters- because people are watching. 2. Pay attention to the people on the periphery- you may be able to help them get what they need from you.
On the first point, do you have integrity? Are we walking in-step with who you are and what you stand for? This is the number one, most powerful way to make a difference. With most things, you will never know how you affected others. But you did. Was the effect that you had what you would want it to be?
On the second point, if you do pay attention, you can notice the people on the periphery that are looking to you for things. If you do, you can subtly help them get what they need.
So next time you are at a boring meeting or event, remind yourself that you are likely there for a reason. What you were hoping for may be a bust, but there is likely someone there that needs something from you. Pay attention. It matters.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.