We were parented. We went to school. We were coached. We were trained at work. But what happens when you become the parent, supervisor, or elder in the community? You are that person now. When did that happen? And why are all these people asking you what to do?
There may still a tendency to look to others to guide us. But at some point it becomes our turn- our responsibility. Sooner or later it is our time to make the tough calls. It is the changing of the guard. But this doesn’t always come naturally. It can be pretty comfortable letting someone else make the calls. And we are creatures of habit. Often, it becomes part of our routine to go to the previous leader rather than think it
And it doesn’t happen on its own. We have to choose it. We have to assume risk. There is only so far studying it, getting mentored, and preparing for it can take us. For this, we have to change our mentality. We have to go through a rite of passage of some sort so we see ourselves differently.
And we have to learn leading by leading. There is part of this that can be only learned by making the clutch call when others are counting on you. We have to be willing to fail and have it affect others. There is part of this that we can only get by having someone come to us after the fact and say that decision you made really affected me negatively.
That’s when we start really paying attention. There is no longer the luxury of being casual and aloof any more. Sounds terrible, huh?
But that is also when we do our most important work.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.