Friendships, family, and relationships are challenging. At times our emotional needs are not being met by the various relationships we have. There is a tendency to feel hurt, lonely, or even betrayed.
My current truth is that people are offering you what they are best able to at that given time. If they were able to be a better husband,
friend, or sister, they probably would be.
We all go through phases that we have more and less to offer others. So rather than taking their lack of support personally, perhaps it is better to find the support you need from someone that is able to offer it at the time you need it.
So next time you need support or have something you need to share, I suggest you approach the person that you think could most understand you and what you are going through. See if they are able to offer what you need. If not, it is your responsibility to reach out to the next person you think might understand.
We sometimes get stuck on, "But he/she is my husband/wife/best friend/sister/father, so he/she should be the one that understands." But for whatever reason, they do not. Then we feel hurt and unloved and do not reach out to anyone else. We are left stuck with the unmet emotional need and the added tension to the relationship. No fun.
Of course if someone is not able to support or understand you on an ongoing basis, it may be time to restructure your relationships. Human beings are ever-changing and it is natural to grow apart or closer to different people over time as we change. This is often sad and there is usually loss involved with it, but it is natural part of life and the growth process.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.