In our culture it is understood that you will spend time with the people that you love most at the holidays. But what if you are single or away from your family? Or what if your relationship or marriage is not in a particularly romantic or healthy phase. And then you see one too many 'Every kiss begins with Kay' commercials. The holidays can be lonely, sad, or even depressing.
But feelings are a call to action. And that includes the holiday blues. They are a relatively direct way to tell you which of the things most important to you that you have not been allowing yourself. That's right, your holiday blues can be a blessing in disguise.
For instance, if you are lonely because you are single or socially isolated, it may be a signal to invest more time in cultivating a relationship or friendships this coming year. Feelings are a direct indicator to what is important to you. They tell you pretty quick if you are happy and meeting your emotional needs- or not.
You can intellectually tell yourself that you don't have time for a social life or relationship, or that you can put your unsatisfying marriage or relationship on the back burner a while. But feelings do not lie. They eventually catch up to you and strongly remind you of what is going on inside.
So what to do? First, allow yourself to feel your feelings. Talk about your feelings to a friend. But also note there is a fine line between feeling your emotions and letting them migrate into self-pity and depression. So don't get stuck in them. Feel them and keep moving forward.
Second, discern what your feelings are telling you about what you have not been allowing yourself. And then care enough about yourself to take action.
So what is the call to action your feelings are inviting you to take this holiday season?
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.