Seven years ago, my friend had a dream in which there was this really thick leather-bound book on the table in front of him. His teacher was in the dream and told him it was a book of all the games that his girlfriend played. My friend and I interpreted the dream as informing him to consider getting out of this relationship ASAP- as there was no chance at being real with someone that played so many games.
But several years later I came to see the dream differently. I think my friend's teacher in the
dream was trying to show him that the games were there- but not so he would leave. Rather, I think his teacher was challenging him to care enough to sort through the games to connect with her. That his teacher was offering him the book of her games in the spirit of, "Here is your mission should you choose to accept it."
We all have a book of games. We all have unresolved issues and fears that directly affect our significant others. But contrary to what my friend and I thought, that does not necessarily mean we should leave or judge them. Sometimes, it means that we have work to do in order to be more honest with each other.
So why did we initially interpret the dream as him needing to leave? One of the downsides of our current analytical and psychological culture is that we sometimes find people's issues and then use them as an excuse to cut and run- so that we do not have to get close.
Rather, why not celebrate the awareness of each others' issues in a relationship? It can just as easy be seen as an opportunity to be closer.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.