I woke up with the thought, "What if I was just totally open and supportive to my friend?”
Then, a part of me pulled back and thought, “I will wait to do that after I see if another piece falls into place in our friendship.”
I continued the conversation with myself, “Hold on, why not just offer my openness and love regardless? It is not
going to make the chances of things falling into place any less. In fact, it would seem to increase the chances of that happening.”
It suddenly occurred to me that I seem to only let my total openness and love out when people are being how I want them to be. Then I will offer them my sweetness. It is like I am reinforcing their behavior. When they act how I want them to act, I reward them with my openness and love. When they are not, I hold it back. “Yuk- more conditional love.”
“Hmm. What if I just offered people the sweetness of my heart unconditionally. If they mistreat it, then I could think twice before being vulnerable in that same way, to that same person again.”
“But why not lead with walking with my heart open and letting my love out regardless of how they are. Rather than preconceiving how the person is I am opening up to, I could discover how they really are. Shit, I could even let go of my preconception of how I think they should be.”
“I teach about walking with your heart open and just included it in the title of my forthcoming book. Perhaps I should walk my talk at a deeper level.”
After a pause, “I wonder what will happen when I interact with people with my heart wide-open.”
The last thought came in the voice of my teacher, “Only one way to find out.”
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.