Whenever we are angry, we are ultimately mad at ourselves. It could be for putting ourselves in a situation. For allowing someone to treat us poorly. For investing in someone that does not care about him or herself. For getting talked out of listening to ourselves. For doing things when we know better. For drawing ourselves back into an old behavioral pattern with someone or something.
But it is easier to project our anger onto someone or something else. We know how someone is, yet we choose to interact with them anyway. We allow them to treat us poorly. We get angry at them for the way they treat us.
But aren't we ultimately angry with ourselves for allowing them treat us poorly? Aren't we really angry at ourselves for interacting with a selfish or abusive person? Are we angry at ourselves for putting ourselves in another no-win situation?
We betrayed ourselves. Our issue is with ourselves. The only way to heal it is to forgive ourselves and promise ourselves to never do that to ourselves again. And then to care about ourselves enough to follow through.
So next time you are angry at someone. Look at yourself. Did you let yourself down? Can you commit and determine to not do that to yourself again? Do you care about yourself enough?
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.