Family, friends, and colleagues tend to give advice or suggestions to the people that they care about. However, most offer advice based on what they would do if they were in that person’s situation. The problem is they are not that person. What is good for them may not be good for the person they are giving the advice to. The advisee has his own life path, values, and dreams that are likely quite different from the adviser.
So if you want to give clear advice, first consider whom the person is that you are giving the advice to. What is important to him? What is the trajectory of his life path? What is right for him? What does he want?
Spiritual growth inevitably involves allowing illusions to die. And as long as we are striving and using willful intent, life will continue to break our hearts. It wears us down until we are able to surrender and accept things as they are (and not as we need them to be).
So how do we allow ourselves to accept loss and feel sadness without getting mired in self-pity and depression?
We have to feel the pure emotion without identifying with it. It is ceasing to attach to the feeling. We are not sad or down or depressed- we are merely experiencing sadness. While this may seem like a subtle distinction, it makes all the difference in the world.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.