There is a huge variance on how you affect people. The 'natural gift' you offer them will have a large effect on the some and small effect on others. It often has to do with where they are at the time you interact with them. As well, your ability to affect varies and cycles with what is going on inside of you. There is a tendency is to underestimate the effect you have on others.
Say we get several people in a row that we perceive we have little effect on. We tend to start believing that we have little or no effect on people. So we may become disheartened and pull back our energy. We stop offering our natural gift when people need it most.
We often affect people in ways vastly different then we thought. They may have been gleaning value from us in ways that we did not comprehend. Often what is most important in our effect on others becomes cumulative over time. It becomes what we represent to them.
So we may feel like we are having off day, but they are often still getting what they need from us. While we think it is our cool new idea, teaching, or parenting skill is what effects, they might just be relying on us as someone that cares and that they can count on.
So the key of course is to not pull back our energy. Perhaps adjust the way you offer our natural gift depending on what is going on internally and situationally, but continue to offer it.
The best depiction of this is the Native American concept of Buffalo Medicine. My tradition sees Buffalo Medicine as reliability, dependability, consistency, durability, and steadfastness. (See previous blog). Buffalo medicine continues to offer up the substance of its natural gift. It does not get caught up on the peaks and troughs of short term outcomes. The buffalo is in it for the long run. It keeps plodding along offering up its best expression of its gift moment by moment.
Buffalo medicine trusts that if we continue to offer our best gift, people will get what they need from it. And it knows we are walking in a good way.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.