An unexpected transition occurs when something happens that forces you to reevaluate and change your life. When things are going well, there is little incentive to make personal change. But then life happens. Just when you think your life is stable, something upsets your apple cart. Suddenly, you find yourself navigating a divorce, career change, or family crisis. While such transitions may be disorienting, they create a window of openness to reevaluate your life.
In my experience, the window of openness usually stays open for two to three months or so until we find a new homeostasis of perceived stability. After that time, we often decide, things are looking up. We do not need reflection and counseling anymore. The acute emotional pain and fear of the crisis has subsided. We are relieved and mutter to ourselves. “Phew, that one was pretty rough.”
So next time you find yourself in an unexpected transition, why not embrace it? You are already out of your comfort zone anyway. Besides, asking yourself some tough questions usually makes the crisis pass more quickly. It is like ripping the band-aid off quickly.
The true value of such a trying time is that you get to rediscover what really matters to you. It is giving yourself a much needed update. For a short window of time, you lose the ability to bullshit yourself. You are forced to openly look at yourself. This clear view of what you truly value becomes a foundation to restructure your life. You can now align your life with what is truly important to you. This reduces all kinds of stress and conflict.
So next time life throws you a wicked left, consider letting yourself take the deep dive. I promise, it will pass. Perhaps life has new plans you. Strike while the iron is hot.
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.