Embrace What You Feel

VVideo Blog Transcription:

(00:00):

So I'm hearing a lot in spirituality these days about being present, having clear intention, and being empathetic and connected. And while these are all really powerful things, when we enter an experience, I think we often discount or even deny some of the most immediate, obvious, and basic information.

And that has to do with what we're feeling, and along with that, what we want. What we really want to happen or what we're really drawn to or attracted to. Because you have to be pretty secure in yourself, and it requires some honesty and willingness to look at things like, “Wow, I'm wanting something that's not very spiritually evolved here.”

(01:14):

It could be dark, it could be inappropriate. And it definitely may not be spiritual- at least what our conception of spiritual is- the stuff that we read in books. It could be anger or whatever else. And also, I think it’s often related to an old issue or an issue that we thought that we had, we've grown beyond.

So it could be something simple like noticing here I am in this experience, and all I really want is for the pretty girl to like me. And that may be challenging to accept, but if I don't embrace what I'm feeling and what I'm wanting, I'm losing the foundation of being present.

(02:14):

Spirituality starts from what I feel. It starts from what I'm feeling in my heart, you know? And if I spiritually bypass that and say, “Oh, no, I could never feel that because I'm so much more evolved than that." It's that spiritual ego, right?

It's like there's this fear that if I acknowledge it, embrace it, that I'm gonna regress to it or something. And in my experience, precisely the opposite is true. When I do embrace it, it gives me a foundation.

We could say to ourselves, “OK, here I am. Wow, interesting. All this work I've done, and all I really want right now is the pretty girl to like me.” But it doesn't mean that I need to act on that. It doesn't mean that I need to identify with that, or that it needs to define me. Sometimes all I need to do is just notice it.

(03:18):

It could say, “Well, that's interesting, and obviously that's not what this meeting's about. The pretty girl is my friend's girlfriend or my coworker, but it's interesting that she still has a draw for me. And that needed to be accepted by her. Boy, that thing must go really deep, then I'm embracing it.

Then I'm owning what I feel. And now I'm grounded in the experience, which is a really important first step of being present. How can I be present if I'm not willing to own what I'm feeling?

(04:06):

And then once we do own it, it disempowers it. If we deny it, it gets suppressed. It becomes part of my shadow, and it's not okay to feel that. And then ironically, what ends up happening if I deny it and suppress it, it's much more apt to affect and control me.

It's when we deny, and we suppress stuff, that's when it comes off in some inappropriate comment, or innuendo, or flippant comment, or whatever else. If we don't embrace it directly and honestly, it tends to come out sideways.

(5:00):

Because we suppress it, and it goes into our unconscious. In other words, we're moving it out of our consciousness by denying it. And then it's gonna be affecting us from behind, from the depths of the shadow.

And so my suggestion is we start by asking, “What am I feeling?” And whatever it is, embrace it. We might notice, “Right now I'm feeling really angry.” Or, “Right now I'm feeling really fearful, or I'm feeling selfish, or I'm feeling irreverent.”

Or, “I'm attracted to someone and that it's not appropriate to be attracted to,” or whatever else. I'm having a dark thought. We can start with that and then just embrace it. It's saying, “Okay, so part of me is interested in that.” Now, does it make sense to act on that? Maybe, maybe not, but at least it's worth considering.

(06:06):

And then, often, once we embrace it, it drops deeper anyway. It’s like, “Okay, that thing was there, now I embraced it. Now, what else is here?" And behind that, this clear intention emerges, which we would've never gotten to if we didn't embrace the first feeling that we felt.