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While the masculine dynamic involves offering energy out from within as in creating an intention, the feminine or receptive is about allowing energy in from outside ourselves. Think of human sexuality and anatomy- the masculine releases out and the feminine allows in. Women and men have access to both of these energies. Both are essential and they work together inside of us. We might allow energy in (feminine) to discern what is going on around us and then offer our intent or

On the way to the airport early Friday morning, I noticed the blue light on my car cell phone charger. It seemed unusually bright. Then it hit me. I am going to need that on my trip. I would have forgotten it. Things talk to you all the time. To be clear, it is not the things talking, it is your inner consciousness pointing things out to you. This is sometimes referred to as your instincts or intuition. I experience this as noticing things. Things kind of stand out. They may

Trust takes time to build. Yet without it, many essential things cannot happen. Trust usually trumps other factors- it affects things at the emotional level. You can't fake trust, and you can't establish it at the intellectual level. While it may be a start, all the trust-building self-talk in the world will break down if it does not extend to the emotional level. When someone betrays another person's trust, it usually affects the relationship for some time. For example, I se

Opportunity cost is a concept in microeconomic theory that the New Oxford American Dictionary defines as "the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen." I like to apply it to the choices we make in other aspects of our lives. Because life is precious and time-limited, the larger problem of a poor choice is that it takes you away from something more worthwhile. For example, the opportunity cost of settling for an unloving relationship is th

Honesty is exposing what you are experiencing and feeling inside yourself to whomever you are interacting with. So, honesty with yourself is exposing what you are experiencing and feeling to yourself. So why wouldn’t we allow ourselves to acknowledge what we feel? Our conditioning and belief systems often dictate what we allow ourselves to feel. Classic examples in our culture include: women are not supposed to get angry, and men are not supposed to feel vulnerable or weak. S

Buddhism clearly identifies attachment as the thing that prevents us from being free. The pattern I have been noticing in myself and my clients is that attachment almost always stems from needing something to be something it is not. We become attached to things being the way we need them to be. Then we typically rail against the way things are. Spiritual teacher, Adyashanti aptly calls this “an argument with the way things are.” And this is a disagreement we are destined to l

One of my favorite definitions of spirituality is: what is important to you. I like it because it demystifies spirituality. Spiritual is often depicted as cosmic, otherworldly, and separate from our daily life. This "what is important" definition simply suggests that the things we value and live our lives for are an important part of our spirituality. So if raising your children is the most important thing to you right now then that is your spiritual practice. The best spirit

We are conditioned to look outside of ourselves for answers. But our truth lies inside, along with our instincts, intuition, and spiritual connection. But in order to tap into these things, we have to develop our internal resources. Like all skills, these resources are developed by using them. In other words, by going inside for answers. By breaking the habit of looking outside of ourselves for them. Internal resources are developed by asking yourself how you feel about somet

Family, friends, parents, and colleagues tend to give advice or suggestions to the people that they care about. However, most offer advice based on what they would do if they were in that person’s situation. The problem is they are not that person. What is good for them may not be good for the person they are giving the advice to. The advisee has his own life path, values, and dreams that are likely quite different from the adviser. So if you want to give clear advice, first

Reliability, dependability. Consistency and steadfastness. Durability. My tradition calls it Buffalo Medicine. It is grounded. It is not flashy. It does not draw attention to itself. People with buffalo medicine quietly go about their business supporting and uplifting everyone and everything around them. Reliability is a funny thing. Without it, someone or something is really not of much value or worth. If it is not consistent, you can't depend on it. When it really counts, l

I have had the privilege to observe many human beings touch extremely beautiful spaces inside themselves and in their interactions with other people. They are usually amazed by the joy and freedom that comes with such experiences. It takes them beyond the reality they are accustomed to. I have also observed that sometime shortly after this, perhaps the next morning, their ego attempts to discount the experience they had. Our egos typically find something wrong with the experi

It is springtime- the perfect time of the year for new aspects of you to be born. Often, the new aspects that emerge do not have any form. They are still pure concepts or ideas. You may have a feeling or picture of it, but not yet understand how it will unfold. It may not be clear how it fits into your life. It may not make sense. This is natural. Do not discard it because you don't understand it. Rather, stay with it. Work with the feeling and idea until it slowly begins to