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Honesty is exposing what you are experiencing and feeling inside yourself to whomever you are interacting with. So, honesty with yourself is exposing what you are experiencing and feeling to yourself. So why wouldn’t we allow ourselves to acknowledge what we feel? Our conditioning and belief systems often dictate what we allow ourselves to feel. Classic examples in our culture include: women are not supposed to get angry, and men are not supposed to feel vulnerable or weak. S

Buddhism clearly identifies attachment as the thing that prevents us from being free. The pattern I have been noticing in myself and my clients is that attachment almost always stems from needing something to be something it is not. We become attached to things being the way we need them to be. Then we typically rail against the way things are. Spiritual teacher, Adyashanti aptly calls this “an argument with the way things are.” And this is a disagreement we are destined to l

One of my favorite definitions of spirituality is: what is important to you. I like it because it demystifies spirituality. Spiritual is often depicted as cosmic, otherworldly, and separate from our daily life. This "what is important" definition simply suggests that the things we value and live our lives for are an important part of our spirituality. So if raising your children is the most important thing to you right now then that is your spiritual practice. The best spirit

We are conditioned to look outside of ourselves for answers. But our truth lies inside, along with our instincts, intuition, and spiritual connection. But in order to tap into these things, we have to develop our internal resources. Like all skills, these resources are developed by using them. In other words, by going inside for answers. By breaking the habit of looking outside of ourselves for them. Internal resources are developed by asking yourself how you feel about somet

Family, friends, parents, and colleagues tend to give advice or suggestions to the people that they care about. However, most offer advice based on what they would do if they were in that person’s situation. The problem is they are not that person. What is good for them may not be good for the person they are giving the advice to. The advisee has his own life path, values, and dreams that are likely quite different from the adviser. So if you want to give clear advice, first

Reliability, dependability. Consistency and steadfastness. Durability. My tradition calls it Buffalo Medicine. It is grounded. It is not flashy. It does not draw attention to itself. People with buffalo medicine quietly go about their business supporting and uplifting everyone and everything around them. Reliability is a funny thing. Without it, someone or something is really not of much value or worth. If it is not consistent, you can't depend on it. When it really counts, l

I have had the privilege to observe many human beings touch extremely beautiful spaces inside themselves and in their interactions with other people. They are usually amazed by the joy and freedom that comes with such experiences. It takes them beyond the reality they are accustomed to. I have also observed that sometime shortly after this, perhaps the next morning, their ego attempts to discount the experience they had. Our egos typically find something wrong with the experi

It is springtime- the perfect time of the year for new aspects of you to be born. Often, the new aspects that emerge do not have any form. They are still pure concepts or ideas. You may have a feeling or picture of it, but not yet understand how it will unfold. It may not be clear how it fits into your life. It may not make sense. This is natural. Do not discard it because you don't understand it. Rather, stay with it. Work with the feeling and idea until it slowly begins to

People do not like being told what to do. Yet we want to share things with them. Why not invite them? An invitation is one of the clearest and powerful ways to lead and interact with other human beings. Invitation works really well if you tell them what you are going to do and then invite them to join you. For example, “I am going to the free concert in the park tomorrow, would you like to join me?” While this seems very simple, it keeps things incredibly clear. It first lets

Have you ever been trying to understand something, but your mind is having difficulty grasping it? Your mind just kind of goes blank and you can't quite pull it in. Everything seems hazy and in a fog. If so, you have been to the fringe. It often happens when you are trying to become aware of something on a higher level of consciousness or vibration. You are actually at the edge or fringe of your known reality. It isn't always comfortable at the edge. You keep forgetting what

Being sensitive often makes people nervous. They have to pay more attention to what they say around you. And more aware of how they affect you- and by extension how they affect other people. Being called too sensitive usually means that the person is not comfortable with how sensitive you are. So it might be more honest for them to say, "You are too sensitive for me." I always wondered if sensitive is feeling things deeply, how can you be too sensitive? Perhaps you can take t

In game theory and economics, a zero-sum game is a closed system in which one participant gaining means another must lose. Available resources are limited or finite- so gains and losses must add up to zero. In contrast, a non-zero-sum refers to situations in which gaining does not require someone else to lose. Resources are not limited. In other words, new resources can be tapped into or created. In recent history, business and commerce has primarily operated with a limited r