Conscious Relationship Coaching
Find Clarity In Your Relationship
Share Your True Natures With Each Other
Feel Closeness, Romance, and Passion
A critical question for anyone wanting clarity, intimacy, and happiness in their marriage or relationship...
What’s the biggest difference between...
... being conscious, close, and empowered in your marriage or intimate relationship,
... and experiencing disconnection and loneliness in your relationship, but not fully understanding why they are there, or what you can do about it?
If you guessed...
You're just not really cut out for this intimate relationship thing.
You’d be wrong.
If you guessed...
It's because you do not love each other enough.
You’d still probably be wrong.
And if you guessed...
You haven’t done couples counseling or read enough Brene Brown books.
You’d still be oh-so-terribly wrong.
Because while love, couples counseling, and relationship books have their place...
There's something even more essential to understanding what is truly going in your relationship and how to address it.
I call it relationship clarity. It one of the primary characteristics of a conscious relationship.
But before I describe exactly what that is, let's explore a little bit more about what you might be experiencing.
Do you feel like the current state of your relationship is becoming unsustainable and that something needs to shift?
Living in a disconnected and ambiguous relationship can get really painful. And lonely. It's often more painful to feel this lonely when you're in a relationship than when you're single. Being in a marriage or relationship inevitably carries the expectation that there should be a least some degree of closeness and connection.
The loneliest and most painful thing I think I've ever experienced is when I was married and we were experiencing disconnection and ambiguity. I clearly remember reaching over and touching her shoulder in an invitation to embrace while we were in bed before we went to sleep. I wasn't even expecting to have sex. It was just a desperate attempt to have some kind of connection.
She rolled over leaving her back to me without saying a word.
I remember lying there next to my estranged wife feeling overwhelmed with sadness. I never felt more alone in my entire life. How did it get to this point?
That was the defining moment when I declared to myself. "I can't do this anymore. We either need to find a way to move through this or I need to leave."
Have things gotten to the point that you're wondering if it's time to leave the relationship or figure out how to save it?
And how is any human being supposed to make that decision?
Or perhaps you're just really ready to find out what is going on between the two of you and how you can get to the bottom of it.
Because either way, until you figure out what's really going on, it's tough to know what to do about it.
So you put it off. And hope your relationship somehow magically works itself through it. You say to yourself, "We're just going through a challenging phase, right?"
But then it doesn't seem to go away. In fact, things may actually be getting worse.
It's painful to look at and difficult to accept that things are not working in your relationship. There's just so much to lose. So naturally, there is a lot of denial. You know, the "This is not happening" kind of denial. Denial masks the pain, fear, and loneliness.
It took me three 7-day silent meditation retreats- about six months apart and a very skilled relationship coach to come to terms with what was really going on in my last relationship.
After seeing that things were amiss in my relationship in the first retreat, I went home saying to myself, "Ok, I can fix this."
But then slowly I got drawn back into the malaise of unreality. And everything seemed hunky-dory until I got to the third day of the next retreat six months later.
There I was meditating away, minding my own business when there it was, "Oh shit, things are still not right in my relationship." Damn, I thought I fixed this. And you guessed it, I left the retreat with even more far-reaching solutions.
But it wasn't until the third retreat which I followed with a series of powerful relationship coaching sessions that I finally accepted what was really going on. Until then, all those amazing solutions I plastered on top of the denial didn't really stand a chance.
Isn't it time you find out what's really going in your relationship? To know exactly where it stands and what your options are.
Isn't it time you have a conscious relationship?
If so, let's start by taking a look at the characteristics of a conscious relationship...
5 Characteristics of a Conscious Relationship
A conscious relationship starts with ourselves. Once we develop the necessary qualities or ingredients inside ourselves, it's natural to extend them to a conscious relationship. In a sense, they are the ingredients to a close and loving relationship.
So let's get started. I also included the quality that each of these five internal qualities creates in a conscious relationship.
Internal Quality #1: Intention
You're typically taught that spirituality happens separately from your human life. So your spiritual practice gets segmented away from your human experiences.
And of course some of those human experiences do not seem overly spiritual. Like arguing with your spouse, hurting someone’s feelings, or getting angry at your neighbor.
So as cool as the spiritual connection we had in savasana would be in our marriage, we bump into these segmented, invisible barriors. For reasons that we can’t quite explain, they just don’t seem to go with each other.
Then we make assumptions that our work place will not be open to our spiritual openness. Better keep it separate.
But most of the time we just never consider bringing our spiritual well-being into our daily life. Keeping it separate happens unconsciously. We just never think of it.
What it creates in a conscious relationship: Vision
Unification. A way to consciously bring the divergent aspects of your life together. So take your rowdy friend to your meditation class. Or tell your boss how you nailed a yoga pose. Think of it as dream where you're introducing your most radically different friends to each other.
Internal Quality #2: Clarity
As human beings, we do some pretty silly things. So you, like me, have inevitably done some utterly ridiculous things. It’s part of being human.
Some of them may even seem to be unforgivable.
While there are a few exceptions, most spiritual practices (or therapy for that matter) do not begin to address accepting our own humanness.
Is it acceptable for you to be jealous? Greedy? Selfish? Or vindictive?
Yet as human beings, we all feel these things from time to time. Why feel ashamed of natural human feelings?
If you can’t accept your humanness, there is a tendency to segment it from the other parts of your life.
This leads to feeling unworthy of having spiritual well-being in your actual life.
What it allows in a conscious relationship: Consciousness.
Self-Acceptance. Find compassion and understanding for why you did what you did. Without judgement, ask yourself: Why would the person you were at that time and situation have done that? Be nice!
Internal Quality #3: Acceptance
Unconditional acceptance. The willingness to accept each other exactly the way they are in this present moment.
Of course, such acceptance of each other originates from the ability to unconditionally accept ourselves. Exactly as we are. Accepting everything about ourselves from the most beautiful to the most flawed.
It really gets down to accepting our humanness. It has to become OK to be comfortable with yourself. It to be OK to be a Michael. Or in your case, OK to be a _________ (fill in your name).
Once you do this, the unconditional acceptance naturally translates to your significant other. This unconditional acceptance is the basis for unconditional love.
Internal Quality #4: Trust
Have you ever thought about what you came here to do? If you reading this, I suspect you have.
Unfortunately, most of us hide our purpose or our spiritual gifts. It’s just too risky.
It’s not your fault. Our culture doesn't often support people’s sense of purpose and spiritual gifts.
Expressing your purpose and gifts quickly becomes threatening to people you share it with as it makes them realize they are not living true to those things in themselves.
This makes it very difficult for them to support honor your purpose and gifts. In fact, it typically elicits criticism and judgement from them.
What it allows in a conscious relationship: Vulnerability.
Guidance and support to clarify your purpose and create a specific, effective plan to unfold it.
Internal Quality #5: Intimacy
If so, let's look at the way out of this relationship purgatory...
The Good News Is...
Gaining consciousness and clarity in your relationship is totally possible.
If you’ve made it this far, you ALREADY know that integrating your spiritual nature into your everyday life is critical to your happiness and your ability to truly enjoy life.
But maybe you didn’t know that by bringing your spiritual well-being into your life using the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program that I’m about to share with you, you’ll also have the power to:
- Directly experience your spiritual nature for yourself so you can recognize it in your everyday life.
- Enjoy deep spiritual connection and intimacy with your significant-other and all the relationships in your life.
- Have your work and life Align with your passion, sense of purpose, and what’s most important to you.
- Fully accept your humanness and fully integrate your spiritual nature with all the human aspects of your life.
- Confidently speak your truth and walk with your heart open.
- Feel the joy, aliveness, and well-being of your spiritual nature throughout your daily life.
YES, these outcomes are totally within reach for you (whether you’re starting from scratch or hitting reset for the 10th time)...
... but they DO depend on taking a clear-cut, step-by-step approach.
One that is time-tested to be effective at guiding clients to fulfill and enjoy all the aspects of their lives for the past 30 years.
One that removes the obstacles to having love and purpose in your life.
One that provides accessible guidance and support every step of the way so you can integrate spiritual well-being and purpose into your relationship, career, and daily life.
And if you’re still with me, then I couldn’t be more excited to introduce you to my FULLY REVAMPED Spiritual Integration Coaching Program.
MEET YOUR RELATIONSHIP COACH
I have been coaching clients to have conscious relationships for 30 years.
When I'm not attending meditation retreats, enjoying nature, or rooting for the Minnesota Vikings, I'm creating personal programs for people to awaken their spiritual well-being and purpose into their daily lives.
I do this by personally guiding and supporting one person at a time to directly integrate their truth and well-being to their relationships, work, and everyday life.
I developed the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program as a clear, step-by-step approach to directly experience your spiritual nature and integrate it into your daily life.
So bring the openness, connection, and well-being you experience during an amazing yoga class or liberating meditation to your intimate relationship, family, and the subtle way you make a difference in people's lives.
Word on the Street
"I left my job working with a hypnotherapy group to start my own practice. A little more than a month later my wife asked me for a divorce and my world was upended. I was completely unprepared for this.
That is when I called Michael Hoffman. My wife and I did several sessions with him, and though it did not change the outcome, it helped me to see the huge roll that I played in this disaster.
More importantly, it caused me to realize that I needed help, and that is when I began to personally work with Michael on a regular basis. He helped me to fully understand the relationship with my ex and to make necessary amends to her and within myself.
The real core of the work I did with Michael is seeing how I have always been looking outward to define myself. What I have found in working with him is that I already had the resources within me to actually create the changes I wanted to make. For me, this has been the pivotal change.
I have to say, Michael held my feet to the fire and that is what I really needed. He helped me get in touch with trusting my heart and moving from that place."
CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP COACHING PROGRAM
with MICHAEL HOFFMAN
A personalized, live-session program that completely integrates an element of your spiritual well-being into your relationship, work, and family.
What do you want to awaken in your life?
I’ve invested the last 30 years working in the trenches with spiritually-minded people to develop a coaching program that allows you to awaken create a complete transition in your life. It's designed for...
- People who are 'over it' and ready to change an aspect of their life, but have not been able to find an effective-enough approach to pull it off.
- People who continue to struggle to bring the well-being and connection they experience in their spiritual practice into their relationships- ESPECIALLY their significant-other relationship. There is nothing more painful than experiencing loneliness in a relationship.
- People who are not finding a deep. meaningful significant-other relationship, but are rather dating emotionally unavailable people or people who want to relate on a superficial level.
- People who have not been able to offer the sense of purpose they can clearly see in a meaningful way that sustains financial livelihood. And...
- People who experience a transcendent flow-state when practicing yoga or meditation only to bump up against a disjointed, anxiety-ridden, Groundhog’s Day-esc, daily grind...
The Result Is...
An easy-to-follow, Spiritual Integration Coaching Program that gives you a crystal clear, *can’t fail* roadmap for bringing the sense of well-being, openness, and purpose of your spiritual nature into your relationships, work, and everyday life.
HERE'S HOW IT ALL BREAKS DOWN:
Live Session #1: Choose an Element to Awaken in your Life
This is where we’ll create a solid foundation. You will start by determining what is most important to you in your life. Then you will identify an element of your spiritual nature you would like to awaken in your life and an area of your life that you would like to integrate that element into.
Remember, a huge reason you are not living the life you would have for yourself is because you haven’t clearly determined what you truly value, considered what you really want, and had the guidance and support to create those things in your life.
This will soon change. By the time you’re finished with Session #1, you’ll have clear sense of what you truly value, a spiritual element would like to awaken, and an area of your life you would like to integrate it into. This provides us something solid to work with in the upcoming modules.
Here are the broad strokes of the first session:
- Determine what’s Most Important to you: Effective and lasting change begins by understanding what you truly value. This provides orientation for what you would like to awaken and allows you to align your life with what matters most to you.
- Identify an Element you would like to Awaken in your Life: Perhaps it's the oneness and intimacy you feel in meditation. Or the feeling of alignment you experience during yoga. Or maybe it’s the sense of purpose that has been arising that you have been wondering what to do with.
- Choose an Area of your Life you want to Integrate that Element into: If you want more connection and intimacy in your life, do you want that in your intimate relationship, with your kids, or in your workplace? Why not all three? You'll get there! But it's most effective to initially complete the process in one area.
- Identify the Sensation of the Element you would like to Awaken in your Life: What is the body sensation of that oneness and intimacy? What is the feeling when you consider your sense of purpose? By tuning into the actual sensation and feeling of the element you want to awaken, you'll be able to recognize it in your daily life.
Live Session #2: Remove the Obstacles
You’ve set your foundation! You identified the things most important to you, an element of your spiritual nature you would like to bring into your life, and an area of your life you would like to integrate it into. You’re on a roll!
This second session is perhaps the most challenging and most powerful one of the bunch. The personal freedom and empowerment this creates is easily worth the price of the program.
It requires rigorous honesty (with yourself) which starts with the willingness to look at your life- exactly as it is. Once you see yourself clearly and objectively, the rest of your transition is inevitable.
I will start the ball rolling by asking some questions and gently pointing some things out. You will participate in the investigation looking at the things that have been holding you back. Challenging yes, but you can do this. We’re in it together!
Here are some of the things we will look at:
- Focus on the Internal Obstacles that Limit you: It often feels like someone or something outside of yourself has prevented you from having the element you want in your life. While external obstacles need to be addressed, we are going to initially focus on the internal obstacles that limit you. Once we disempower the internal obstacles, it is easier to navigate the external blocks that arise.
- Unplug your Limiting Beliefs: We pick up various core beliefs about ourselves and the world in childhood which become reinforced and embellished as adults. While these beliefs serve us for a while, they tend to limit us as we grow spiritually. We will explore if there are any beliefs or stories you tell yourself that may be obstructing you.
- Disempower your Fear: Fear naturally arises as you get close to what you want most. Since fear is future-based, you can usually break your fears down to an if/then statement about what you believe will happen. This format clarifies how the fear limits your life and puts it into terms that are manageable.
- See your Behavioral Patterns: These unconscious and repetitive patterns rob you of your ability to choose what you want in your life, because do them over and over without realizing it. By becoming conscious of your behavioral patterns, you get the opportunity to choose something different.
Live Session #3: Offer an Intention
Here is where things get fun - real fun :)
You’ve set your foundation and removed the obstacles, so now you can take things to a whole new level by creating and offering a clear intention to activate your new life.
Here’s what you’ll soon be activating:
- Embrace your Partnership with Life: When you offer an intention, you initiate a natural partnership with Life to create something together. Many of us have been conditioned to put ourselves below God—and by extension, below Life. This session guides and supports you to offer your intention as an equal partner with Life.
- Create a Clear Intention: When you offer your intention, it initiates and activates the new element in your life. In the first session, you identified an element you want to awaken and an area in your life you want to integrate it into. Here you will bring these components together to create a clear intention for your life.
- Offer your intention: Offering your intention is the moment of commitment to awaken the new element in your life. Offering your intention in a ceremony helps you envision your intention as a rite of passage to a new life that includes the new element you are awakening. This session will guide and support you to offer your intention.
Live Session #4: Create a Personal Program
By this point, you have built a huge amount of self-awareness and intention. But it is also essential to create a personal program that will allow to you integrate your new spiritual element into your everyday life.
Many succumb to their resistance and stop here. This is where all the potentiality becomes real. It is where your spiritual nature takes form in your actual life.
While it's natural to feel uneasy being in new territory, let this be the grand adventure that it is. This is what you have been preparing for...
- Create your Personal Program: Together, we will design a personal program that provides a new orientation for your life. This program will keep you attuned to your heart, intuition, and internal resources and replace the external orientation you were conditioned to rely upon. It consists of the following three components:
- Establish a Spiritual Practice: A spiritual practice allows you to experience the sensation and feeling of the element that you are integrating on a regular basis so it can provide orientation for your life. By tuning into the sensation of the element on a regular basis, you can recognize it in the context of your daily life.
- Practice Noticing and Reconnecting. This allows you to stay aligned with your new element as you awaken it. Noticing is objectively observing when you are aligned with your spiritual nature, and when you are not. Reconnecting detaches you from what is distracting you and realigns you with your spiritual nature.
- Recognize the Doorways that Open: When you offer an intention, Life responds by presenting doorways for you to actualize that intention. Doorways include relationships, opportunities, connections, etc. This session supports you to recognize the doorways that open and find the courage to step into them in the spur of the moment.
TO PREPARE FOR EACH SESSION:
A PREPARATORY VIDEO, GUIDED MEDITATION, AND
A SET OF SELF-INQUIRY JOURNALING QUESTIONS
We have a lot to accomplish to pull off a complete transition in just four sessions. So yes, some of that the work will need to happen before the sessions even happen.
Preparatory Videos: This program is designed for a video to introduce the concepts and teachings that we’ll be working with during each live session. There are a total of five videos: one for each session and an introductory video that provides an overview of the program.
Watching the preparatory videos online before each session frees up our live sessions to personalize and apply the program to you and your life.
Guided Meditations: This program also includes a guided meditation for each session intended for you to directly experience the spiritual elements we’re working with.
If possible, I recommend listening to the guided meditation repeatedly for the one to two weeks that you prepare for and work with that session to fully embody the spiritual qualities we’re working with.
Self-Inquiry Journaling Questions: These self-inquiry questions help you integrate the material for each session. And just as important, they guide you to discover your truth for yourself.
Self-inquiry is asking a question for your spiritual nature and intuition to answer. You might ask the question, and the answer may come to you three days later out of nowhere while you are in the shower.
Emailing Work and Questions: To prepare for the upcoming session, you are welcome to email me your work and questions regarding the self-inquiry questions, preparatory video, or prescribed assignment (described in next section), and we'll work with them during the next session.
TO INTEGRATE EACH SESSION:
A PRESCRIBED ASSIGNMENT, SESSION RECORDING, AND ON-GOING ACCESS TO VIDEOS AND MEDITATIONS
Prescribed Assignments: At the end of each session, I will specifically prescribe an assignment to deepen your understanding and promote integration of the what we worked with.
It will be personalized to your unique spiritual and human natures, as well as, where you are at in your spiritual growth process.
So after each session, you will receive an email that will contain a link or pdf for the prescribed assignment to complete before our next session. It may refer you to a book, video, prescribed practice, or prescribed interaction with someone.
Video Recording of each Session: Also included in the email you receive after each session will be a video recording of our session. This way you can refer back to the session at any time. It also frees you up to be present during the session by not having to worry about capturing everything.
Ongoing Access to Videos and Meditations: All of the videos and meditations will be available for the entirety of the program. You can download a PDF of the self-inquiry journaling questions to keep for ongoing reflection.
Questions Clients Asked Before
Saying “YES" to the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program
1. I can tell this would probably work, but it just doesn’t seem like I should have to spend money on being happy in my relationship, fulfilled at work, or connected in my daily life. Do I really need this?
2. I’ve been reluctant to get too idealistic about my relationship or career in fear of ending up by myself or not being able to support myself. Will this program threaten my marriage or livelihood?
3. Won’t the well-being and openness of my spiritual nature naturally migrate into my relationships, work and everyday life?
4. I’ve read dozens of books on spirituality and relationships. I have listed to spiritual talks, TED talks, and Youtube talks. How is this any different?
5. I don’t feel like I’m very good at meditation or relationships. Are you sure this will work for me?
6. I want to do this, but I’m already spread wayyyy too thin. How much time is this gonna take?
7. Can you remind me of what I’m getting today when I enroll today?
You’re ready to bring spiritual well-being into your life if...
1. You’re just getting started with integrating your spiritual well-being into your relationship, work and everyday life, and you want to make sure it plugs it into your life right out of the gates by using only the most powerful, personalized, and easy-to-follow integration strategies.
2. You’ve been trying to integrate your spiritual well-being for months (or even years), but haven’t seen noticeable results in your relationship, work or daily life. If anything, the gap between your spiritual well-being and everyday life has gotten wider.
3. You already KNOW the spiritual qualities you want in your relationship, work, and life: Sure, you are open to some guidance as you go through the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program... but for the most part, you know what you want, and you are ready to enjoy it in your life.
4. You have no problem investing 5 hours per week as long as you know that every bit of energy you invest is a strategic and effective step forward in having spiritual well-being and connection in your relationships, work, and life.
5. In fact, you’re ALREADY investing lots of time and energy doing things like reading relationship books, doing yoga, meditating, and doing spiritual online courses.
Only problem is, without a clear strategy that ties them all together, you’ve experienced nothing but discouraging “is all this stuff really working?” results, followed by crippling overwhelm around what to do next.
6. You want something that works: You have heard about or even tried coaching or couples therapy before. You paid your money, invested the effort (and worst of all, got hopeful), only to land back in the same lonely and unfulfilling place.
You want a program that actually results in all this intimacy, purpose, fulfillment, and vulnerability you hear so much about.
7. You can envision all the things you have always wanted that will open up once you integrate your spiritual nature into your life. You can just feel the closeness in your relationship, the life-purpose in your work, and the pure enjoyment and richness of everyday life. You’ve always known it was possible.
8. You’re excited to try the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program. Even if you’ve been side-tracked and let down before, you’re currently feeling a wave of renewed optimism.
You realize that by this time tomorrow, you can be plugging yourself into an easy-to-follow yet super-effective approach for truly enjoying and finding fulfillment in your relationships, work and daily life.
If you caught yourself nodding your head to at least 5 of the 8 points above, then I absolutely CANNOT wait to meet you in the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program.
So if you’re still here...
Let me send you off with this.
By now, you already know that the biggest difference between enjoying spiritual well-being of throughout your relationships, work, and life…
... and experiencing your spiritual well-being in yoga, meditation, and out in nature and then feeling the utter frustration of feeling disconnected in relationships, unfulfilled at work, and disheartened in everyday life all comes down to...
... integrating your spiritual well-being into your everyday life.
If you’re wanting to experience the sense of well-being of your spiritual nature as all-pervasive happiness in your everyday life, you need the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program.
If you’re wanting to experience the boundless connection of your spiritual nature as loving intimacy in your significant-other relationship, you need the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program.
If you’re wanting to experience the true purpose of your spiritual nature as lasting fulfillment in your life-work, you need the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program.
If you’re wanting to experience the unbridled aliveness of your spiritual nature as life-affirming vitality and passion throughout your life, you need the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program.
If you’re wanting to experience the inherent belongingness of your spiritual nature as feeling part of a supportive community and all of life, you need the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program.
If you’re wanting to experience the undeniable intuition of your spiritual nature as the ability to deeply trust yourself, you need the Spiritual Integration Coaching Program.
If you’re ready, I look forward to partnering with you to make the astonishingly beautiful spiritual qualities that you’ve experienced an everyday reality that you can embody and enjoy in all the various aspects of your life.