People are either strong enough to accept you as you are or they are not.

If you found the courage to be yourself, they can find it in their heart to embrace you as you are. If they can't, it is not a good place to share your heart- at least that aspect of yourself.

In close relationships (romantic, family, or friendship), you are a package deal. Like everyone else, you have strengths and challenge areas. You may continue to grow and develop your challenge areas, but right now this is your best you. Are people able and willing to love you as you are?

This may seem strict. But do we really need to put ourselves through more conditional acceptance? It is too painful and destructive. You have worked too hard to be your best you.

You do not have to put yourself through the gauntlet what someone else needs you to be. This includes judgment, control, criticism, sarcasm, and "If only you were a little more... (something)."

And please keep in mind that if someone needs you to be something other than whom you are, it is about them- not you.

The good news is that there are people out there that can accept you exactly the way you are right now.

The bad news is that you will never meet them if you are busy trying to justify yourself to someone that is (for whatever reason) not able to accept you for who you are. This consumes your time and emotional resources contorting yourself to try to be what others need you to be.

I encourage people to walk with their heart open. But if you choose to do so, you owe it to your heart to be selective and use some discernment with whom you share it with.

Photo by Olivier Guillard