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Confusion is a Natural Part of Change

spiritual integration Jan 17, 2021

Video Blog Summary: Confusion is a Natural Part of Change

So for many of us, 2020 was a confusing year. But confusion isn’t always bad. Sometimes it indicates that we are changing. In fact, confusion is a natural part of change.

When you've been seeing things a certain way for a while, you become accustomed to seeing them that way. And then something inside you begins to change, and you begin to see things in a different way. So your life is oriented around that familiar way of seeing, and now all of a sudden, you see things differently.

In a sense, you have one foot one reality and the other in a different reality. The result is confusion. Which reality is real? Things that used to make sense somehow don't make much sense anymore.

So whenever you feel confused, it’s an opportunity to discern how the way you see things is changing. And consequently how you are changing.

So what are you confused about? Is that confusion related to the way you see things...

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Acting According to Your Ethics

spiritual integration Dec 28, 2020

Video Blog Summary: Acting According to Your Ethics

Ethics are the values and principles that govern your behavior. For this blog, I’m going to refer to ethics as the thing that your heart tells you is right for you.

My suggestion is to care about yourself enough to align your actions with your personal ethics. If something feels off to you, simply don’t do it.

Not out of fear or because it’s what you’re not supposed to do, but rather because you understand that when you act outside of your personal ethics, you create conflict with yourself. And worse, you might even lose respect for yourself.

Even if everyone at work or all of your friends are doing something that does not feel right, you can find a way to abstain. Simply because you choose to spare yourself the conflict and pain it would create in yourself.

And you can do this in a subtle way if you choose to. You do not have to confront the situation or people you're with unless you’re guided by...

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Division and Integration Video Blog

spiritual integration Nov 12, 2019

Division occurs when there is a part of us that is not in alignment with another part of ourselves. I explore how we become divided from our passion, purpose, and truth. We can integrate these qualities back into our lives to reduce conflict and allow natural harmony with the various aspects of ourselves.

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What's going on inside?

spiritual integration Oct 31, 2018

This coming weekend we will set our clocks forward, and it will get dark an hour earlier in the evening. This seems to be the time of year when it begins to hit us that winter and shorter days are here.

With increased darkness and longer nights, winter is a natural time of introspection- a time to look inside. So what is going on inside? Internally, we are changing all the time.

Our mind, however, likes to see ourselves as static and stable. It creates an identity and personality so we can feel like ourselves. This can make it hard to notice the constant, subtle changes that are transpiring underneath the surface. 

Accordingly, the exterior of our lives tends to stay aligned with who we were and who we think we are. But yet we feel conflict because part of us can tell that our outside life is out of sync with what is currently going on inside.

So what to do? If we pay attention, there are subtle clues or bread crumbs we are leaving for ourselves to...

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Bringing your Whole Being- Not Segmenting

spiritual integration Sep 16, 2016

We tend to adjust who we are and what we say based on the people and setting that we are in. We often segment ourselves by allowing some parts of ourselves and excluding others in various interactions.

We may dumb ourselves down or become more sarcastic to fit with the folks that we are with. We do things that are out of character. 

This inevitably causes conflict with ourselves. At some level, we know that we acted outside of our wholeness and integrity. 

Historically in oppressive cultures, people died for what they believed in. They knew that being true to themselves was a risk and stated their truth anyway. That was how important it was to them. 

And here we are living in the free world, where you can express almost anything without risking your life. But still, we hold back and present only the parts (or segments) of ourselves that we believe fits in.  

This segmenting also becomes internalized. We tell ourselves that different parts of ourselves do...

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spiritual integration Apr 12, 2016

Now is the only time you have to experience this moment. It is the only time you will have this exact blend of your awareness and what is happening. Are you allowing yourself to feel it? If you do, there is richness and beauty that is totally fulfilling.

If you do not, you may tell yourself it is no big deal, but part of you will always know that you did not allow yourself to fully feel what just happened. There is a sense of loss.

The easy way to illustrate this is to say that your son will never be 12 again. He will never be at this exact phase as a human being and you as his parent. Did you feel it?

You will never have another chance to experience this phase of your marriage or relationship. It may be frustrating or even painful, but there is a sweetness to it.

If you allow yourself to fully experience it, it will forever become a part of who and what you are. It is history in the making.

Kids and relationships are heartfelt examples, but this extends to everything. You have...

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Does It Plant Corn?

spiritual integration Nov 02, 2015

People are reading many great spiritual teachings. This is a boon for increasing awareness. But for the majority of people I encounter, these teachings are kept at a conceptual level. For teachings to truly make a difference, they need to be integrated into your life.

Most know the teaching of being present in the experience that you are in. I have heard this in countless intellectual discussions. But how many of us integrate it into our lives?

Are we willing to look at what prevents or distracts us from being present? Are we willing to confront the fears and karmic patterns that underlie your tendency to drift away from being present? Are we becoming more present?

Until then, the teaching has limited value.

My teacher constantly challenged his students' spirituality with, "If it doesn't plant corn, what good is it?"

To progress further in our spiritual evolution, we have to go deeper. We must be willing to honestly look at ourselves. We have to create a practice or program...

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Honesty with Yourself

spiritual integration Feb 12, 2014

Honesty is exposing what you are experiencing and feeling inside yourself to whomever you are interacting with. So, honesty with yourself is exposing what you are experiencing and feeling to yourself.

So why wouldn’t we allow ourselves to acknowledge what we feel? Our conditioning and belief systems often dictate what we allow ourselves to feel.

Classic examples in our culture include: women are not supposed to get angry, and men are not supposed to feel vulnerable or weak.

So after a lifetime of conditioning, when we experience a feeling that we believe we are not supposed to experience, we tell ourselves it was something else. In other words, we lie to ourselves. This is where being honest with ourselves breaks down.

Ironically, I see this all the time in spiritual growth disciplines. People are conscious of their thoughts being positive and spiritual- which is a good practice.

However, I have noticed that there is a tendency to not accept the feelings that are not in...

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The Empire Strikes Back

spiritual integration Jul 03, 2013

I have had the privilege to observe many human beings touch extremely beautiful spaces inside themselves and in their interactions with other people.

They are usually amazed by the joy and freedom that comes with such experiences. It takes them beyond the reality they are accustomed to.

I have also observed that sometime shortly after this, perhaps the next morning, their ego attempts to discount the experience they had.

Our egos typically find something wrong with the experience or the person/people that we had the experience with. The presiding ego defends its turf. The empire strikes back.

When you allow yourself to have a beautiful experience that lies outside of your reality and belief system, one of two things has to happen.

You either expand your reality to include the new experience and the beauty and freedom it contains (in which case, your ego or keeper of your old reality will have to die), or you discount the experience so you can return to your...

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Perfection vs. Excellence

spiritual integration Feb 16, 2012

Perfection is doing something according to a preconceived notion of what the right thing to do is.  

Excellence is exploring what the right thing is in the context of the experience.


Perfection is always just out of reach.  

Excellence is immediately accessible by making a choice.


Perfection always has rules about what you need to have before something can be done.  

Excellence is working with what you have and finding a way that works.


Perfection is rigid and static.  

Excellence is flexible and adaptable.


Perfection says there is only one correct way to do something.  

Excellence says there are infinite ways to do something correctly.


Perfection is doing something by applying the correct amount of effort.  

Excellence is doing something with everything that you have.


Perfection is constrictive.  

Excellence is expansive.


Perfection is conditional.  


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