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Authentic Interactions Feb 06, 2024

Video Summary:

I want to contrast two ways of interacting with people. The first is It's looking outside of selves for validation, acceptance, and fitting into a group. Most of us were conditioned with this tendency.

This can be a challenging issue to look at in ourselves. It's getting over...

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You really can't screw it up Nov 28, 2023

Video Summary:

I'm going to start with a story that actually happened this past week. I work at a hospital in Medford, Oregon and it is going through some serious financial challenges.

We got a new CEO in, and he is saying everything's on the table for cuts and there have been layoffs....

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Breaking Contracts Nov 14, 2023

Video Summary:

A concept that I call contracts is very useful to understand some of the dynamics that happen in relationships. Contracts are agreements that we create with someone else in a relationship. This could be any type of close relationship including romantic, parent, child, sibling,...

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As We Need Them to Be Oct 17, 2023

Video Summary:

One of my favorite teachings is that people will always show you who they are. It's become my truth as I've noticed it over the years. People show us who they are through their actions. Even if they're being deceptive or manipulative, they’ll still show us who they are...

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Standards of Interaction Aug 06, 2023

Video Summary:

What are your standards of interaction? One of my standards of interaction is treating other people with respect. I've done a lot of work on myself to truly respect myself and other people. I have a standard that we respect each other in the interactions that I am in.

The...

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Misguided Compassion Jul 25, 2023

Video Summary:

I want to contrast true compassion with what I call misguided compassion. Misguided compassion has been called other things including codependency, caretaking, and enabling. But I'm going to use the term misguided compassion because it's specific and contrasts nicely with true...

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Their Best Gift May 28, 2023

Video Summary:

When people interact with you, they offer you their gift. Granted sometimes it may not feel like a gift. You could call it their offering if you prefer. It's what they offer you at that moment. My premise for this video is the gift or offering that people are offering is the...

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Allowing People to Be as They Are May 14, 2023

Video Summary:

There's a tendency in relationships, especially close relationships, for us to insist people be how we need them to be rather than how they are. We all have stories, scripts, and fantasies about how various relationships should be.

We have stories about how our significant...

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Truth of the Moment May 08, 2023

Video Summary:

We've been trained and educated to prepare, study for tests, and know the right answer. The rather large assumption of this right-answer approach is that there is an objectively right answer for everything. For some things such as math, grammar, or some sciences, there clearly...

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Overinvesting Jan 24, 2023

Video Summary:

One of the things I prescribe to my clients in sharing circles, sessions, and retreats is a practice I call matching investment. The idea is to naturally interact with someone, notice the level of energy and investment that comes back from them, and then match it.

By...

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Attachment to the Outcome Jun 27, 2022

Video Summary:

I want to talk about a concept that I called attachment to the outcome. Here I'm using attachment similarly to how Buddhism uses it. The Buddha was big on non-attachment and taught that attachment creates suffering and bondage.

Accordingly, the intention of this...

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Anger as a Pure Feeling Jun 09, 2022

Video Summary:

For this week's video blog, I included one last clip of a Q-and-A session on Zoom for Chapter 4 of my book Natural Way of Being which happened on May 4. It begins with Kate asking me a question regarding thought-based emotion and pure emotion.

Kate (summarized): So it sounds...

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