Video Blog Summary: Ask For What You'd Like

As we approach the holidays in this most unusual year, what are you wanting to happen during the holidays? And, are you willing to ask for it?

There’s often a pattern to hope the things we want will magically happen. So we don’t ask for it or create it. This is especially true with families and romantic relationships.

Often leftover from childhood, we believe that being in our family will just meet the things we want in family relationships.

This is often a product of our parents either working their butts off to provide it, or them not being able to provide it. Either way, we are left with believing what we want really should be provided to us without us having to ask.

And this extends to romantic relationships. We figure the love will magically meet our needs. He or she will just know the thing that I need and offer it.

This can present itself as a “prove you love me” dynamic. The voice of this is, “If he or she really loved me, he or she would know what I need and offer it to me. I shouldn’t have to ask.”

I noticed this pattern of not asking for what I wanted recently when I was spending time exploring a romantic relationship. I noticed I was sad that some of the things I wanted to share in the relationship were not happening, and yet I was not suggesting we do those things.

Then one morning I woke up and declared, I would really like more of this when we hang out. And amazingly, she was rather receptive to it. Better yet, I might have spared her of my process and just said, “Hey, let’s do this today.”

So during this holiday season, I invite you to step up and suggest to your family or partner that you do things that you want to do. Don’t leave it to fate. Be a leader in your own life.

And of course, it may feel awkward, uncomfortable, and vulnerable at first. That may just be an indication that you’re on the right track.

Check out the above video blog where I flesh this out in further detail.