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Attachment to the Outcome

Jun 27, 2022

Video Summary:

I want to talk about a concept that I called attachment to the outcome. Here I'm using attachment similarly to how Buddhism uses it. The Buddha was big on non-attachment and taught that attachment creates suffering and bondage.

Accordingly, the intention of this video is to learn about our attachment to the outcome, and how it creates suffering and bondage- so we can experience more freedom and liberation.

For the outcome part of this, the first part of an interaction is our offering which involves initiating expressing, inviting, or asking someone something. And then the second part is the outcome which is the response to our offering.

Our culture especially is very outcome-focused. We want results. If we're in sales, getting the sale is the outcome. And so obviously in the real world, we need to get favorable outcomes sometimes.

But even when we do that, maybe we don't need to be so attached to the outcome. Because when we're attached to the outcome, it's a different energy and people can sense it. And people are really tired of being sold and told what to do and what to believe. I know I am.

When we focus on the outcome, we project a lot of ourselves onto the other person and we make it more about them and what they need to do. But whose need is it?

If I start walking that back to myself and ask, “Why do I need them to do this so badly? What is my attachment to the outcome?"

We say, "I want her to do this. I don't want her to do that." What I don't want her to do might be my fear. If I need them to like me, that's attachment to the outcome. And then rather than being myself, I'm going to start doing things to get that person to like me.

So one of my self-inquiries is “What am I responsible for? What's my job, and what's not my job?” And so I'm redefining what I'm responsible for because I thought I was responsible for all these things outside of me that I'm really not. And that creates suffering.

What do you think?

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