Video Summary:

Welcome to March. We're now in the month of the first day of spring and the Spring Equinox. On the Medicine Wheel or Wheel of Life, it's a time we give birth to and awaken a new cycle of our lives. This includes the new things that we want to awaken, manifest, and create in our lives.

So it's a great time to clear our life paths. That is to clear any residual things that may be blocking or obstructing our ability to bring these new things into our lives. This includes things that we view as terrible mistakes and condemn ourselves for. I'm going to call them choices with an unfortunate outcome.

Perhaps the outcome hurt your child, family member, or significant other you care deeply about. Or maybe you made a choice and it affected the course of your life. Maybe you sabotaged a relationship or pushed away an opportunity that was presented to you.

We tend to hang on to these things for a long time if not for our entire lives. We don't know how to forgive ourselves for making a choice that had such an unfortunate outcome.

One way to forgive yourself for a choice with an unfortunate outcome is to ask yourself why you made the choice you did. This provides understanding. You made the choice you did for a reason.

The first thing you have to do is to go back to the way you were when you made the choice. What was your level of consciousness? What was your reality? How did you see the world? How much awareness did you have? Maybe you had less self-worth and weren't able to accept as much beauty as you do now.

If you look at it from the lens of how you are now, it's going to be difficult to accept what you did. If you were there now, you would probably make a different choice. You have to see and accept how you were when you made the choice. And you didn't have the information of how it would turn out.

Next, it's inquiring, “Okay if I was the way I was, why did I make that choice?” You have to go back to what the choice looked like when you made it. It might be, "I thought this would happen when I made that choice. But certainly not that. I did not see that coming.” 

You need to understand why you made that choice. You may need to understand yourself emotionally. You could see a therapist or do a session with me. You may be able to do this with self-inquiry. You can ask yourself if there were emotional factors in the choice you made and then let the answer come to you.

It’s asking Spirit, “Why did I make that choice? I now see that the choice had a regrettable outcome, so I need to understand why I made that choice. Why did I push away my perfectly good girlfriend?" Or, "Why did I say no to this amazing opportunity?" Or, "Why did I sabotage my relationship with my son?

There's a reason that you made the choice you made. It’s not because you suck. You need to be more specific. Look at it like a detective, scientist, CSI, or forensic psychologist. Gather facts and postulate theories. Understand who you were at the time, what you were feeling, and the situation you were in.

Soon you might understand, “I'm starting to see why I made that choice. I wasn't able to accept someone who loved me that much. It was foreign to me and scared me. I was worried that he would leave me. I couldn't stand that degree of risk, so I pushed him away.” It often feels like a Shakespearean tragedy.

It's great to know what your core issues are, but how did they affect your life? That's when it gets real. How did your low self-worth affect your choice? You're linking your emotional issues to the choice you made and the effect it had on your life. This is often accompanied by sad and painful feelings.

You might realize, “Now I understand. It was difficult for me to accept love and beauty because I had this unfortunate childhood and was burned so many times in relationships. I just wasn't able to trust.”

Evoke the compassion you would extend listening to a friend: “Well, of course, you made that choice. It doesn't mean you're awful. You had limited self-worth and were in a tough situation. You made the best choice you knew how to make at the time.” It’s giving yourself the compassion you would offer a friend.

Then promise yourself, “Next time I'm going to make a better choice. I'm not going to push love away in that way ever again.” It’s promising yourself and honoring that promise.

All of this brings you to a place of understanding, self-compassion, and ultimately forgiving yourself for the unfortunate choice you made.