Honoring Your Sacred CircleOct 23, 2023
The term sacred circle comes from the shamanistic tradition that I've practiced for years. Our sacred circle is the place where we hold our preciousness, beauty, and the things that are most important to us. It includes things that matter most to us and that we care a lot about.
We may have spent years figuring out what these things are and awakening these things. They might include how we feel about our family, significant other, children, and pets. It may also include those spiritual experiences that almost make you cry when you've been touched by spirit or by God.
So when we share these things with other people, there's a tendency to feel really vulnerable, because we're exposing this purely authentic part of ourselves. It’s the part of us that doesn't wear a mask. It’s just pure beauty and authenticity. When we share one of these things, it says, “This is who I really am.”
I sometimes ask the people I work with, “Who do you allow into your sacred circle?” Allowing someone into our circle is a metaphor for who we share our beauty and preciousness with. My suggestion is to consider being selective about who we share these things with and to use some discernment.
So how do we evaluate who we allow into our sacred circle? It's based on the extent to which they can respect the values and ethics of our sacred circle. When someone is in our sacred circle, they're in our world now. This is where we make the rules on how we hold these things.
How we treat each other in our sacred circle is such an ethic. Do we treat other people with compassion and respect? That's a value of your sacred circle. So you don’t allow them to bring their nonsense, sarcasm, judgment, criticism, or even their brilliant idea of how the world or you should be.
It’s not a time for them to respond with that when you share something precious with them. When we share something precious, it's essential that people respect and honor it. It's a privilege for them that you're sharing this sweet, precious thing with them.
They hopefully realize, ”Wow, that was real,” and stop what they're doing for a minute to allow it in and honor it. Unfortunately, you may have noticed that doesn't always happen in our culture, mostly because people haven't been taught the importance of this.
We may be used to sharing our preciousness when we do ceremonies and sharing circles, but we don't always think about who we share it with. When I facilitate the sharing circle or ceremony, I'm there to make sure people respect your preciousness.
If they start to disrespect it, I might say, “Whoa. That's not what we're doing. We're not giving her advice right now. We're not telling her that she was wrong to treat her boyfriend that way. She risked something by sharing it so we're just going to hold that.” If they can't respect that, they can't be there.
When someone is not there to facilitate that, perhaps there may be a part of you that could facilitate it. You act on your discernment and stand in your power. We call it bear medicine. If they start disrespecting what you're sharing and not honoring your heart, you need to put a stop to it.
It's our responsibility to insist they honor our hearts and to remove them from our sacred circle if they cannot. They've lost the privilege of us sharing something precious with them, at least at this time. That ship has sailed. You tried sharing, and they criticized it, gave you unsolicited advice, or laughed at it.
It's not being compassionate with yourself to continue to share your sacred circle with someone who can't honor it. It's a strict teaching in a way, but it's the way that you honor your heart and preciousness. You don't just share that with just anyone.
So some of us have shared our sacred circle with people whom (from this perspective), we had no business sharing something that sweet and precious with. You can ask yourself, “Is this person able to honor being in my sacred circle? Are they able to hold what I’m sharing?”