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Stop Pushing People Away

removing obstacles Oct 15, 2009

"You only allow as much love as you feel like you deserve." This is a quote by Bart Anderson, a spiritual teacher that I studied with for many years. So what happens when we experience more love than we are comfortable with? We push it away.

In other words, we push people away when they are trying to love us. When someone is getting closer than we are comfortable with, we push them away. We all do it.

Relationships naturally build love and intimacy if we do not obstruct them. So we can build closeness by ceasing to push people away and allowing the relationship to naturally develop.

So... all we have to do to experience more love in our life is to stop pushing people away when they are trying to love us. Sounds simple enough. And it is simple, but it's not always easy.

Sometimes pushing people away is as subtle as not accepting help from a friend when they extend love to us. Other times it might be an off-hand comment. Or perhaps it may be finding things that are wrong with the person we are in a relationship with.

First, we have to identify how we push people away, then see ourselves about to do it, and then stop ourselves from pushing them away.

So what are some of the ways we push people away? With judgment, arrogance, pride, sarcasm, mockery, cleverness, rejection, and criticism. Yuk! This isn't so fun anymore.

So the next time you are about to chime in with a snide comment, ask yourself, "Am I trying to push them away?" And if the answer is yes, just keep it to yourself and allow the person to love you. Stop pushing them away.

It will likely be a little uncomfortable. Your self-worth will have to expand. But why not give it a shot. You do deserve it. And besides, you owe it to yourself and the people trying to get close to you.

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