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Support Them While They Work It Out

one of the people Dec 10, 2010

People find themselves in life situations they need to complete and understand. True compassion is allowing them (or yourself) to work out what they need to.

We allow children to learn the lessons they need. Well, adults are trying to learn lessons too. Why not extend that same courtesy to them? Let them work it out.

It is likely not rational or intellectual. They need the experience- so they can understand it. This allows them to complete the lesson or accept the truth. Then they can move onto something else.

A classic example involves a middle-age guy buying a sports car. Or perhaps he is hitting on younger women. What is our first response? We tend to judge it. We say he is pathetic or shallow. We may fail to offer our friend the support he needs.

Why not celebrate your friend's mid-life crisis with him? Go with him to pick out the sports car. Ask him about the women he is seeing. Let him work it out. With a little support, he will move through this challenging time.

Or... say a forty or fifty-something woman "gets some work done" or is suddenly wearing clothes that are too young for her. Again, we tend to be quick to judge. 

Perhaps she is grieving not being as youthfully attractive as she used to be. She may be adjusting to how men now treat her differently. How do you respond?

You could support her. Go out on the town with her. She will work it out. She knows what is going on. She just needs to work through it. Are you strong enough to support her in her time of need?

Photo by Hector Falcon on Unsplash


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