Video Summary:

I want to talk about a pattern that came up during our Sharing Circle on Thursday night. The pattern is to withhold who we really are, and then we get hurt that people don't get us or know us.

The things we may withhold include our true feelings, how life feels to us, speaking our truth or opinion, disagreeing with someone, and sharing the sweetness of life and what brings this joy. It may include what we're afraid of and what we're sad about.

We've been conditioned to keep these things to ourselves. When we don't share these things, we take away the possibility for people to know us, and embrace and nurture who we really are. This often results in don't feel heard or seen and feeling lonely and isolated.

When we share who we really are and what we really feel and how we really see things, we inevitably feel vulnerable, because now we're being real and laying it on the line. If the person doesn't accept us, it's going to hurt a little more than if we share something superficial about ourselves.

But laying it on the line more gives people the opportunity to know us, to see us, to hear us, to get us. This is the true benefit of vulnerability. If I had to do a talk on, “Why be vulnerable?” this would be it. It allows people can know you, see you, and truly love and nurture who you really are.

This requires a different set of skills including the discernment of taking care of who we share our genuine expression. If someone is careless, we don't share that part of ourselves with them. This is caring for our heart, emotional self, spiritual self, authentic self, and inner child.

So the inquiry is, “If I am real and authentic, and share my true feelings and truth, is this person (or these people) going to be able to hold that, to accept that, and honor that in me? And usually, it gets down to whether they are willing to be vulnerable themselves.

If they are sharing their feelings, they know it's a big deal and that it feels vulnerable, so there's a tendency for them to respect it more. It also means they're more in touch with their own feelings so they can hold the space of someone else sharing a raw feeling, a really sad feeling, or a truly joyful feeling.

They're reasonably comfortable with the vulnerability and risk, and they appreciate it when you're laying it on the line and being real with them. They're honored. I'm sure you've had someone share something with you and you felt honored that they shared it with you. That's how it may be for them.