Video Blog Transcription:

(00:00):
So I talk a lot about integration and the work that I do. In fact, I even call one type of coaching that I do spiritual integration coaching. And typically when I describe it, I talk about experiencing your spiritual connection and awakening that open spiritual awareness and then bringing that into your daily life.

Often we allow ourselves to experience that in a yoga class or when we're meditating, but then we're not able to bring that into our daily life. So this is the context I usually talk about spiritual integration with, but today I want to talk about a different aspect of integration.

I even took a peek at the dictionary, Webster’s, and integration was combining the parts of yourself to make them whole, I guess it didn't say yourself, but to combine parts to make whole. So there's another element of integration which is taking the different aspects of ourselves and embracing them and seeing them as a whole.
(01:15):
And the other thing is that we can do is we can look at the different aspects of our lives, the different periods or phases of our lives. Often these phases become kind of fragmented. It feels like we’ve lived a bunch of different lives within this life.

They were different phases where I was in a marriage, at college, and they almost feel like they were different lifetimes. They were this phase of life that was different. And then because of that, I think they continue to be a little fragmented and disjointed. They're not unified, they're not integrated.

(01:59):
And a really good example of this I just experienced lately. So there was this time in my life that I probably haven't talked about much. And, it was when I was in my second year of college and I was at Penn State. It had been an interesting time previous to this.

My father died when I was 16 years old. And shortly after that, I ended up getting a pretty serious girlfriend. And we went out for like two and a half years, and it was first love. And, I was just really happy. But as I did work on this later, it seemed that I didn't totally feel the loss of my dad, instead I kind of fell in love.

And then, so what happened, I'm going into my second year of college, my girlfriend and I broke up. Actually, it was more like she broke up with me. And what happened is that all this loss of that and loss of my dad at all of hit me.

(03:00):
And then that was the time of my life when I was most depressed and what I was doing at the time in order to manage this, I ended up, partying a lot, smoking a lot of pot and playing the drums, and going to see these amazing concerts, you know?
I would go see a lot of jam bands. I was back east and we'd go and see the Grateful Dead, the Allman Brothers, and Santana. And a couple of years later with some therapy and work and I met a spiritual teacher, I kind of pulled myself out of this depression.

And over time, I kind of saw this time of my life as the lost years”. I think that's after a John Prine song called “Jesus, the lost years”. It's not that I'm Jesus, but I just kind of labeled this time as those were the lost years.

(04:03):
I was kind of floating around, not much happened. I didn't really accomplish very much. I didn't do well in college. I did see some amazing music, however, and I played the drums. It was kind of the hippie phase of my life really.

And, and it worked because I pulled myself out, but there was this time of my life that I kind of split off from myself. I didn't really own it as part of me. Or maybe not as good of a part of me, that was kind of the lost part of me. And I didn't really embrace that is what I've learned.

So recently I was out here in Bend, Oregon and my friend and I met to get out and there was this band that was playing Grateful Dead covers there. And they ended up being really good, so I started watching and they played this really good version of a song called Cassidy. I thought, Wow, these guys are good.”

(05:11):
And what happened is pretty soon, I was dancing a little bit, and they'd play a couple of songs. I knew all the words and pretty soon I was crying and remembering these songs and having this joy of remembering the songs and the times that I had.

I realized, “Wow, there was a real joyous part of this.” Watching this band brought me joy. And it helped me remember the joy of this time of my life, which I had forgotten and kind of thrown the baby out with the bathwater that this was a nonproductive and depressed time.

(06:01):
So what I did was I just am having a blast and I was dancing and, and I'm meeting people, and I was just like Mike in the hippie days, I was like dancing around and just having a blast. It was just joyous, and I got home and the next day I thought that's as much fun as I've had in a long time.

And so what I realized is that during that time I was still growing. I was learning about music and awareness, and I wouldn't be the same guy. And I ended up accepting that that is part of me. Like it or not, there's part of me that's kind of the hippie Mike that likes the Grateful Dead, the Allman Brothers, and jam bands, and likes to play the drums. And that is part of me too.

(06:57):
And so as I embrace this part of me, it integrates that, and I become more whole, and then I'm more unified, and then I'm no longer like fragmenting that or disassociating myself from that part of me. I'm like, now I'm embracing it and welcoming it. And it's like, yep. That's part of me too.

I'm a hippie guy too. I'm not only this “I’m a spiritual teacher. I'm serious.” But also there's a part of me. that's a hippie guy that likes to dance and likes the Grateful Dead and saw entirely too many Grateful Dead concerts when I was young. And so this is something that I've learned.

And so this is an example of a different type of integration that I'd invite you to think about this winter, a time I call the time of introspection. Was there a time of your life that has been difficult for you to embrace? Maybe it wasn't productive, or it was really painful, which was the case for me too. It was a painful time of my life.

(08:11):
Was there a time of your life that's part of you, that was like a lifetime within this life that maybe you've had difficulty incorporating and embracing?

And I would invite you to explore that and just have fun with it, to go back to something that you enjoyed. Like I did, go back to something you enjoyed and see if you can find some joy there and see if you reconnect with that part of yourself and embrace it and bring it into your life and own it like “Yeah, this is part of me too.”

So anyway, that is my video for this week. Thank you for watching. I hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving and that you have a really great week, and that you are able to find a time of your life and work with it and integrate it to make yourself a little more whole, and honor that part of yourself. So anyway, I will see you in a week.