People have issues with you. Ironically, the more character you have, the more issues people likely have with you. But never forget whose issues they are. And keep in mind, they really believe they are your issues. Your choice is to take on their issues or let them have them.
Many people have a preconception and expectation of how you need to be. This is
usually based on what role they believe you should take with them. People have unconscious contracts and expectations regarding how you need to be in relation to them.
Or, the way you are just may be threatening to them. Perhaps you are doing something outside their comfort zone.
The only way to clearly interact with others is to do what your heart calls you to do. And chances are your heart's call to action may conflict with their expectation. So if you follow your heart, you will likely disappoint some people. They may even feel betrayed. But whose life is it, anyway?
So what you are left with? It is fine to be aware of people’s issues with you. It is even great to have compassion for their issues with you. But never forget whose issues they are.
And one last thing, it is enough for you to know that it is their issue. I recommend letting go of trying to get them to understand this. They are likely pretty certain that the issue is yours. It is enough that you know and to let them have the issue.
Besides, if you are at all like me, you have your own issues and choices to work with. We simply do not have the time and energy to take on other people’s. As my friend Steven told my other friend some years ago, “Todd, I have my own problems.”
About the Author
I, Michael Hoffman, am a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and author with 25 years experience in counseling and teaching experiential workshops. I have maintained this blog since 2009, and my second book Natural Way of Being will published in 2019.
I offer in-person and video-conferencing counseling, intensive workshops, and online courses to allow participants to directly experience their natural way of being and the life they would have for themselves.