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Trust People to Be Who They Are

clear interaction Oct 30, 2009

We are determined to change people. We want people to be who we think they should be. We want people to be who we need them to be.

It doesn't seem to matter to us if it is something that they want to be. It doesn't even seem to matter if it is something they are able to be.

Yet when they turn out to not be who we needed them to be, we feel hurt and betrayed. We are disappointed over and over again.

What if we trusted people to be who they are?

We if we discovered who they are? If we went beyond our preconceptions and who we needed them to be, and honestly looked at who they are? Then, we did not count on them changing.

Rather we asked ourselves is this someone (the way they are) that I want to interact with. Then is this person (the way they are) someone I can count on? Is this someone (the way they are) that I want to spend time with my kids. They either are, or they're not.

We might even want to test them. We might share something personal about ourselves and watch what they do with it- in order to find out who they are. Then, we trust them to be that way. We could base our decisions on that.

There is so much freedom in trusting people to be who they are. We avoid so much pain, anger, and heartbreak. We don't have to control anyone anymore.

We might have to work a little harder and wait a little longer to find someone who naturally is the way we want someone to be. We also might need to check to see if the way we want someone to be is even possible.

But the freedom is well worth it.

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