Where We Spend the Holidays MattersNov 02, 2009
Wherever we spend our holidays says which family is most important to us. Whichever family gets the most priority during the holidays is our primary family.
What is the important part of my holiday and with whom I spend that? Do we go to their house, or do they come to ours? Where is Thanksgiving dinner? Where do we open our presents?
Our primary family is what we see ourselves to be most a part of. It is where we feel that we most belong. What we are most strongly a part of is our primary role-identification.
Am I primarily a husband and father, or am I primarily my parent's son? I have to choose.
Whether we realize it or not, what we emphasize during the holidays tells our partners, children, parents, and everyone around us where we stand. Actions speak louder than words.
Sometimes our family of origin is so strong, that we forget that our primary (sometimes new) family needs to be acknowledged. Do we trust our new family enough to make it our priority? Are we worried about hurting people's feelings? By not hurting people's feelings, are we breaking other people's hearts?
It does not mean we can't be part of several families and celebrate them at different times. But which one are we most a part of? Which relationships are the most important to us?
That is probably the family we should consider emphasizing the most this holiday season.