Blog
All relationships are contractual. Often these contracts are unwritten and unsaid- yet they control most of the experiences of the relationship. We are typically not consciously aware of what we have agreed to with this person.
During this wintertime of introspection, we may become aware that a re...
All things affect. Continuing with the seasonal theme of introspection and reevaluating our lives, it is essential to consider how the environments we expose ourselves to affect us.
Environments include our home, neighborhood, workplace, relationship, friendships, and social arenas.
One of the st...
Choosing and understanding the nature of your forthcoming interactions is essential. Once you have set up your interaction properly, it is vitally important to let go and surrender to the experience.
I picture this as pushing your boat in the right direction before you let go and experience where ...
One of my all-time favorite metaphors is that of the rose. It has beauty and delicateness, but also thorns. My interpretation is that with beauty comes pain.
With the love and the unfoldment of beauty with another human comes inevitable pain. They are a package deal. We can't care that deeply with...
What is sacred to us are the things that are most important to us. When we share these parts of ourselves we become exposed and vulnerable.
We have an emotional and spiritual need to share these sacred things with people. This is what intimacy and closeness are. I refer to this as allowing them in...
UpĀ until a couple of hundred years ago, Native American tribes of the plains were dependent on the Buffalo for food and survival. They used every part of the buffalo for sustenance.
If a person were to see a herd of buffalo on the plains, the first thing that he or she would do is go back and tell...
Most of us have experienced a power struggle in a relationship. No fun. But what is it really about? Many power struggles with couples are about each trying to get the other to come into their world.
The stronger or more determined of the two usually wins. The loser resents the winner; the winner ...
Wherever we spend our holidays says which family is most important to us. Whichever family gets the most priority during the holidays is our primary family.
What is the important part of my holiday and with whom I spend that? Do we go to their house, or do they come to ours? Where is Thanksgiving ...
We are determined to change people. We want people to be who we think they should be. We want people to be who we need them to be.
It doesn't seem to matter to us if it is something that they want to be. It doesn't even seem to matter if it is something they are able to be.
Yet when they turn ou...
The Grateful Dead song, Foolish Heart, written by Robert Hunter and Jerry Garcia, came into my head to help me understand a vital lesson. The main lyrics are, "But never give your heart my friend unto a foolish heart."
I had been sharing tender, vulnerable things about myself to critical people. Sp...
Most of our relationships have become casual. We allow them to evolve without thinking about how we want them to be. We do not take the time to maintain them or keep them on track.
What if... we invested some time to define our relationships by thinking about and deciding what we want them to be. ...
"You only allow as much love as you feel like you deserve." This is a quote by Bart Anderson, a spiritual teacher that I studied with for many years. So what happens when we experience more love than we are comfortable with? We push it away.
In other words, we push people away when they are trying...
